May 10, 2015

I'm Going To Murder Mother Nature

Oh my goodness I haaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeee springtime!!

Everything that was dead in the winter time resurrects and comes back with vengeance. I am allergic to the air. I wish I could pop my eye balls out and scratch them with some steel wool. Oh my gosh they're so itchy and burny and ugggghhhh!!

You know and I really love flowers and the smell of fresh cut grass. It's not fair that I have to suffer like this. Like what the freak mother nature why to you have to be such a beach you ruin spring time for people are basically allergic to life. And I love life so much and its not fair that every time I walk outside or have a window open in my house that I must suffer at your hands! This is what I go through.

Everyday of my life since the snow melted and stuff grew back.

Wake up.

Blows nose.

Blows nose again.

Continues to blows nose till becomes light headed.


Blows nose.

Gets dressed.

Runs out of tissues.

USES FREAKING SAND PAPER ON NOSE BECAUSE PAPER TOWLS SUCK (Insert most horrible thing you can think of here.)


Walk around like Rudolph.

Be rejected from reindeer games.

Sit in one spot for 30 min and rub eyeballs.

Cry again.

People ask if you have been crying and you will tell them no, that its just allergies. Which only makes you a half liar.




Try to figure out ways to assassinate Mother Nature.

Ask your mother for allergy medicine.




Accidently punch self in nose because its a Hulk sneeze.

Which causes a sneezing fit lasting for 2 min. FYI doesn't seem long but its like death.

Repeat for the remainder of the day.

I can't wait till spring is done and things stop pollinating. I don't want to rub my eyes it's so bad for your cornea.

Please tell me I'm not the only sufferer of Mother Natures evilness.