Road to Publication

Road to Publication

March 10, 2015

Hootie, the anger management expert.

I know hootie is not the most creative name for an owl, but during my overwhelming excitement it was the only one I could think of.

It all started when I arrived home from work and notice some annoying, stupid, little vandal sprayed black spray paint across my license plate. I yelled at the sky and kicked some pavement before I stormed into my house to get some paper towels and cleaner. With every foot I drove into the squishy spring ground a swear word was to follow. How could someone just do that. I PARK IN A CHURCH PARKING LOT!

With my blood boiling I squat to scrub the vandals handy work off my precious Shelby. (Yes I named my car, and the paint came off fairly easy due to the lack of brain cells exhibited by the vandals because paint does not stick under certain temperatures)

When suddenly something flew over head. Naturally I thought it was my brother (who would like to be known as Amory) throwing snowballs at me. (Which is more like ice than snow) So I jumped up and screamed some nasty things and threw some snow back in that general direction.

Then "Amory" came outside to see what I was yelling about. I yelled at him for throwing snowballs at me while I was trying to clean my car, and of course he denied it which sparked a yelling match.

During our exchange of loud words "Amory" stops and says "woah look behind you"

Which I replied "What so you can throw more snowballs at me?"

He shushes me and moves closer to the pine tree in our front yard. Sitting on one of the lone branches was little hootie. Immediately I was filled with an incredible bubbly sensation, a mix of happiness and surprise. Owls are one of my favorite animals and never have I seen one in person. I've spent hours on pinterest looking at them and I have a silver owl ring on my ring finger that I never take off and there I was face to face with one of the most beautiful creatures God has ever made. It was like a dream come true.

At the sight of little hootie all of my anger melted away. I forgot all about the little vandals, the snowballs, and the spray paint on Shelby's license plate. It was like God sent little hootie to calm me down because honestly nothing would have except for the sight of a precious little owl.

March 9, 2015

There are times when Darth Vader comes to me with words of wisdom.....

March 5, 2015

Blogging is dumb

To blog or not to blog, that is the question.

Blog. Blogger. Blogging. Blogged. Blogget. Bloggian.

Blog is such a weird word. It's like one of those words that makes less and less sense the more you say it.

What is a blog? Well I don't know because obviously my blog is not that popular. I don't even know what to post half the time. I want to post excerpts of my writings but I'm a hurricane of fear and nervousness.

One: I think someone might steal my work.

Two: Someone might tell me I suck, then my dreams of being an author will be ruined.

I look at popular blogs and they post stories about amazing life experiences, or articles full incredibly useful information.

My blog? Has none of those things. I don't know what mine would be considered. Most of the time I feel like I'm talking to myself but whatevs. I enjoy it. 

I guess that what a blog is though, expressing yourself.

ATTENTION!!

New URL!!!

I am now known as AliceShawWrites.BlogSpot.com

Tell your friends, if you don't have friends tell your mom. If you have friends still tell your mom. Tell your brother, sister. Your sister from another mista, and your brother from another motha. Tell everyone. Shout it from the rooftops. Write it on a cake and send it to your weird uncle in Kentucky. Tell people that Alice Shaw has a new URL and they need to visit it.

That is all.

Much love. xo

February 28, 2015

YOU SHALL NOT PASS

3 things my future self needs to know

Ok future me,
So I don't know which future me will be reading this, if it's either tomorrow me or ten years from now me you need to know..... as much as you love McDonald's DON'T EAT IT! You will regret it as soon as those delicious golden fries slither down your throat and into your stomach.
Just because they are potatoes does not mean they are good for you. Also stay away from the chicken nuggets. I know they're your favorite but no. If you must get your fast food fix please go to Chilk-fil-a, but if there's not one around go to taco bell. You will thank me. Oh and don't give up, keep writing and reading. And don't microwave your green tea longer than two minutes unless you want to fry your taste buds.
Sincerely yourself.

February 18, 2015